More like "Are you trying to make us barf through our eye sockets, Ms. Rinna?" I really wish Playboy made this a SANS FARDS issue. And by "fards," I mean farty turds, because then 45-year-old Lisa Rinna would never have been allowed to be on this cover.

This cover is like the scary basement door in a horror movie. You know that when you open up it, you will be violated to the point that your organs will shrivel up and die, but you can't help yourself. You want to know if the hemorrhoid lips match. Put some Prep H on it, please! I can't... I really can't...

(Thanks Ted in LA)