Bethenny Frankel better come out with a Skinny Girl Dramamine-tini, because the world at large is going to need it when Kelly Bensimon flaunts her lopsided tittays in the pages of December's Playboy. That is the worst Christmas present ever.

InTouch Weekly says that Kelly won't bare it all. Thankfully, she's keeping her leather cooch wallet to herself. Kelly's ex-husband, photographer and former Elle creative director Gilles Bensimon, will shoot the pictures. The source added, "Kelly is a former model, so she will be a natural."

This is going to be Playboy's thickest issue, because Kelly's "at war" boobies won't fit on one page together. One titty will be on page 6 while the other will be on page 10. It's going to be like putting a damn puzzle together.