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Celebrity News posted on 9 February 2010
Pure Sophistication At The Valentine's Day Premiere
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At least somebody was in the mood for love (in the form of a greasy grope from an obese producer who promises to get you a part in the next Bradley Cooper movie) at last night's Valentine's Day premiere in Hollywood. I really have no idea who this Anna Kulinova swan is, but it doesn't really matter. Googling her name is not going to make me relive all the emotions I felt when I first laid eyes upon her in this stunning frock. This is the true meaning of VD (Valentine's Day)!

I doubt Jennifer Garner, Jessica Beeeeehl or any of the other boring Js at this movie premiere spent their entire night making a figure skating costume out of old taffeta found in the trash can outside of Bobby Trendy's condo and a Fredrick's teddy. Barney's does not carry a dress that makes your nipples look like they are bleeding lace. This is a one-of-a-kind creation!

And you know what makes Anna even more special? The fact that she's smiling like she has no idea her shoes don't match at all! The cab driver must have been one inpatient motherfucker, because he forced Anna to grab a random pair of shoes from her stripper roommate's closet. She wears them beautifully.

Here's more of Anna and the people who only showed up to bask in the glory of her beauty. They are: MiserAlba, Garcelle Beauvais, an overdressed Jessica Biel, Patrick Dempsey, Barbara Eden, Jennifer Garner, McSteamy and Noxzema Girl, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutchie with Demi Moore, Shirley Maclaine, Julia Roberts, Emma Roberts and a bronzer-faced B.Coop.

Jessica Alba Loves Being Married
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On May 19, 2008, Jessica Alba married director's assistant, Cash Warren, after they met on the set of Fantastic Four. Less than a month later, Alba gave birth to the couple's first child and they have been living in romantic bliss ever since. You know, except not. The Sun reports:
The stunning star, who tied the knot in 2008, has branded the institution of marriage "warped" and "a load of crap". "I had a hard time agreeing with marriage at all because I feel like it's been warped," she told Cosmopolitan magazine. "Originally, it was two families coming together to make a stronger family. It was about survival - not love or soul mates. "And now the way they market marriage - even as a kid through Disney movies - is that it's all about Prince Charming sweeping you off your feet. "There's this mentality that you need the big dress and the big day - the day every girl gets to be a princess. I didn't agree with any of that. "This tradition of obeying your husband like he's your king? It's a load of crap. Love and honour, yes. But you should love and honour yourself too, and all your friends." Which begs the question, why did she walk down the aisle in the first place? "I chose to get married because, essentially, you're given a deck of cards in life," is her cryptic answer. "The hand you were dealt with is your family and you can't choose them."

Christ. If I was Cash Warren, I'd probably turn my cell off for a while. Maybe she's bitter because he sucked every last bit of hotness he could out of her or maybe she just realized that at 30, she married the wrong person. Whether they want to admit or not, all women want to be treated like princesses and fucked like porn stars. That's it. If you can do both of those, you're golden. If you can do one of those, it may last for a while but not as long as you think. Like my penis for example.

Jessica Biel Needs To Bring Sexy Back
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What the hell has happened to Jessica Biel? She used to be one of those chicks that was so intimidating because she always looked hot as f@#k, seemed like she was pretty smart and at least tried to choose movies that were half decent. Here she is at the premiere of what has to be one of the crappiest movies around, Valentine’s Day, dressed like she’s going to her junior prom. I’d like to blame Timberlake, but he seems like a pretty stylish guy who probably wouldn’t let this shit happen. The rumors about them breaking up must be true.

more pictures of Jessica Biel here

     
Jessica Biel Pictures Jessica Biel Pictures Jessica Biel Pictures
Jessica Biel Pictures Jessica Biel Pictures Jessica Biel Pictures
Jessica Biel Pictures Jessica Biel Pictures Jessica Biel Pictures
Rachel Bilson: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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I can’t figure out Rachel Bilson, she’s super cute so why the hell does she hide behind frumpy dresses like this yellow monstrosity? Obviously she doesn’t look terrible, but it just seems like such a waste to me. In these tough economic times people need an escape from reality, something that will take them away from the mundane grind of their everyday lives, like a happy ending massage or a set of Rachel Bilson dressed as a dominatrix pictures. Think of all the people she can help.

     
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Rachel Bilson Pictures Rachel Bilson Pictures Rachel Bilson Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Bikini Pictures
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So Jennifer Aniston is still in Mexico celebrating her 41st birthday by hanging out in her bikini with friends. I for one am not complaining, I happen to like cougars in bikinis getting out of swimming pools, so she could spend the whole year there for all I care. I cropped out most of her friends because, well, they weren’t wearing bikinis. Oh, and of course Gerard Butler flew in to tap that sweet birthday bikini ass. If she likes foreigners with shitty accents, I’m Canadian which is close enough, maybe we can take a jacuzzi some time. Call me.

     
Jennifer Aniston Pictures Jennifer Aniston Pictures Jennifer Aniston Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Pictures Jennifer Aniston Pictures Jennifer Aniston Pictures
Jennifer Aniston Pictures Jennifer Aniston Pictures Jennifer Aniston Pictures
Brooklyn Decker Is SI’s Swimsuit Cover Girl
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Bar Refaeli Totally Rocks The 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition
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Snooki Now Has A True Love To Share Her Pickle With
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Everybody Wants To Hit Rihanna
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Brooklyn Decker Is The 2010 SI Swimsuit Covergirl
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The Unretouched Vadge Pictures Keep Leaking
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Brooklynn Decker Is The 2010 SI Swimsuit Covergirl
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Mirrors Are Scary
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What's Up, Blake?
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But We Already Know EVERYTHING
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Kristin Cavallari In A Sweet Tight Dress
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Hilary Duff Gets Banged
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Hollywood Tuna's AmaTuna Moment - Scott Dunbar Billie Jean
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Paulina Rubio’s Got Legs
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Angelina Love Picture Moment
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Beyonce In The Morning
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Tamra Barney Is Boning Her Husband's Best Friend
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So That's What Hef Saw In These Two
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A Quote From The Crypt
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The Doctor Has Been Charged
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Brangelina Is Suing The News Of The World
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I Heart Rachel Bilson's Groovy Little Curves
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Open Post: Hosted By The Kitty Halftime Show
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Previous (08 Feb 2010)
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Angelina Jolie
Anna Kournikova
Brad Pitt
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Gerard Butler
Gisele Bundchen
Heidi Klum
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Jennifer Aniston
Jessica Alba
Kate Beckinsale
Kim Kardashian
Kristen Stewart
Kristin Cavallari
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Megan Fox
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